OK, I'm OBSESSED

I'm sorry I haven't written in a while, but I've been busy. I've been playing on Facebook, sure, Twitter....not as much as I used to...Big Brother...not on for a couple months yet.

No, the object of my obsession is..*drumroll*: TWILIGHT, specifically: EDWARD CULLEN.

Ok, I know what you're thinking..."where's she been, under a rock somewhere?"

No...not quite that out of the loop...but, I just don't do vampires. I have a strict policy (actually, my discerning spirit has it's way with me)...I don't DO vampires/evil/torture/horror movies. I've been known to literally run from the room or theater when these movies are on.

I once tried (actually 3 times) to read "Interview with a Vampire" ..Anne Rice's vampire book that was made into a movie. I couldn't even hold it in my hands it so unsettled my SPIRIT...Finally, after the 3rd try reading it, I threw the new, unread paperback in my kitchen trash can..that wasn't far enough away..I had to DIG IT OUT and take it OUTSIDE to the big trashcans near the street!!!! It SO COMPLETELY unnerved me.

So, what, 15 years or so later??..enter: Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

*sigh* Mercy...just another movie I won't watch. Well, I don't know what happened..I'm not sure what lured my 'discernment' away for a few minutes (probably the fact that I have been in soooo much pain and stuck in my house with only the internet and the regular tv shows that I watch)..but, Twilight came on Showtime and BAM! I was THERE!!

I waded in...I'll give it 5 minutes...no...I don't feel any evil twinges coming from it...ok 10 minutes..still nothing...before I knew it, I was falling head over heels for a VAMPIRE!!!

A half-century of resolve to NEVER watch any evil content just evaporated as these two kids(I use the term loosely in Edward's case), Edward & Bella were finding themselves in a love affair that simply would NOT be denied. To say they are 'starcrossed lovers' really doesn't define their particular situation: She's a human girl, an extraordinary one, but human..and he's a Vampire. Think of that age-old adage: A fish and a bird can fall in love but, where would they LIVE?

Over the last couple of years, as my health has gotten worse, I lost most of my earthly possessions waiting on disability (house, car, etc.), I lost my boyfriend (his last words to me "I'll call you tomorrow"..it'll be 2 years in October..lol...human men *rolls eyes*), and just general disappointment in all things 'true love' had described, and promised, killed any feelings that I might have of a romantic nature...or so I thought!!!

Imagine my surprise when from within me PASSION re-emerged...my heart would quicken along with Bella's..tears fell...chills covered my body...and, when at the end of the 2nd movie of the series "New Moon" Edward says to Bella "..and then forever...marry me" I swear, you'd have thought Edward was on his knees in front of me!!! I squealed...I felt the electric shock to my TOES, I kid you not.

I have certainly done hours of introspection on this completely new, to me, passion, obsession, hunger to know MORE and MORE about these characters and WHY did I have such a strong reaction to them. Now, NOBODY would have ever accused me of having no passion...no emotions...no heart...honey, it's the stuff I'm made of instead of blood, skin, and bones!!! But, for a VAMPIRE!!

OK, so let's be practical..vampires are fictional characters..Stephenie Meyer's vampires are extremely GOOD people (forgive the term)...they have chosen to accept their lot in 'life' and attempt to do GOOD..not just GOOD, the GREATER GOOD. Now, THAT's MY THING!!

I believe the other main draw for me..and what SURPRISINGLY had both my sons gagging at their mother's choice of OBSESSION..is the fact that EDWARD IS THE PERFECT MAN.

I expected my sons to be thrilled that their mother actually broke down her wall and enjoyed a 'supernatural' (if you will) movie. But no, they were actually VERY condescending about my choice. My oldest son (25) simply can't get past the part where Edward sparkles in the sun..fine..whatever..I'm not sure exactly why my youngest (15) doesn't care for him..but I have a theory. You might want to get a drink here, this might take a minute or two...lol.

As I stated above, Edward IS the perfect man (if you can get past the un-dead part). He's spent enough time learning, looking, becoming an ADULT for heaven's sake! He KNOWS what he doesn't want, if still being in the shadows on what he DOES want. But when he sees, meets, gets to know Bella..EDWARD KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS. That's extremely important!

Next, EDWARD KNOWS THE VALUE OF LOVE (he's lived for decades with 3 perfectly-matched pair of lovers..the outsider..the only one without a mate. He's seen the joy of love, the value of a partner, companion, commitment, a plus-one.

EDWARD KNOWS HOW LUCKY HE IS to have FOUND someone who by all rights has been made just for him by some creator: she's his FAVORITE smell ("my own personal brand of heroin" to use HIS words), she's FEARLESS (he IS a monster after all), she's trustworthy, loyal, and devoted (all things a woman would HAVE to be to be in a relationship with someone from his world). Miraculously, he's found the ONE PERSON who was made JUST FOR HIM.

EDWARD IS WILLING TO FIGHT FOR AND PROTECT BELLA, from rapist/murderers, from other boys at the school who would love to have her for themselves, from HIS OWN FAMILY, and even from HIMSELF at times.

As a couple Edward and Bella are extremely powerful: He's their MIGHT...She's their SOUL...together, they are their HEART.

My mother says I'm drawn to the Protector in Edward and I have to agree that could be it, for a large part..but, I KNOW I'm drawn to Edward because he's a HERO, he's devoted, he's true...EDWARD IS THE MAN THAT ALL WOMEN WANT THEIR MEN TO BE...and WOMEN (including the girls my youngest goes to school with) have GONE WILD!

Let's face it...in books, magazines, tv, music, and especially movies...over the last 3 decades or so...women have been told what we are supposed to LOOK like (we've had so many boobs thrown in our faces, on the screen, that we can't even work up the embarrassment to blush anymore...our righteous indignation has laid down it's sword and just accepted it ... and, the plastic surgeons, diet-food companies/gyms, and, cosmetic companies are making a killing. We've tried so hard not to get old that some of my favorite actresses look like they are standing in wind tunnels (their faces pulled and cut and sewn back so far), their lips look like trouts they have been shot so full of fillers, hair extensions, thin to the point of looking like the suffer from malnutrition..their breasts look like cantaloupes sewn under their skin..it's RIDICULOUS! But it's done now..that's just the way it is.

Enter Edward Cullen...finally...after 30 years of hearing WHAT WOMEN ARE SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE TO BE DESIRABLE...Edward is telling MEN HOW TO ACT.

...and THEY HATE IT!! lmbo...women, go ahead and have one of those HUGE belly-laughs that shakes your whole body and produces those endorphins!!

Yes, men...EDWARD CULLEN is YOUR wake-up call! It's time for chivalry...remember how to open a door and pick up a check?? It's time for COMMITMENT...no more of this "what I don't do for my man some other woman will" attitude...make some money (we're tired of supporting you)...and, you better find that girl and be true to her. Men, KNOW YOUR MIND...if you say it you better mean it...if you ask for it, be grateful for receiving it...and, if you want her, deserve her!!

Ultimately, I LOVE EDWARD CULLEN for being THAT GUY...no, he's not perfect..no woman ever expects her man to be perfect (it's your imperfections that endear you to us)...but be OUR OWN brand of heroin...be addicted to us...be obsessed with us...love us...tell us you love us and mean it...see ONLY us (no, you're not blind but that is certainly NO EXCUSE for ogling and then comparing us to some other woman. AND, last but certainly not least...FIGHT TO KEEP US...keep us safe, keep us happy, keep us in your heart and mind...you will NOT regret it.

Men, TWILIGHT and EDWARD CULLEN are YOUR goal...it's your map to a woman's head and heart...it's your mission statement...it's your example of what your woman wants. But, as usual, (and believe me, women are used to being disappointed..our expectations have fallen so low they barely have a heartbeat) it's YOUR choice.

Be THAT GUY, please? We'll be THAT GIRL..it's in our nature, we're hard-wired to please you when we aren't having to spend all our time, energy, attention, and money surviving you.

Thank you Stephenie Meyer, Bella, but most of all: THANK YOU EDWARD CULLEN for waking up the girl in me and reminding me that love still exists.